I have a habit, or a gift I give to myself, that I have claimed since I left the nest. Whether I did it when I lived at home is a question for my mother. I go inside. Because… I am tired. My moods are switching. I am trying to settle myself down. Gather my strength. Remember how to love my kids. Or because the world is so big and so challenging that I need to nap, speak only to the dog, and clean.
I have not blogged in six weeks, and I attribute this to not wanting to be cyber-seen, because I do not have the answers and I’m not great.
It’s not bad, actually. Jake’s physical and emotional health is better and his grades have improved miraculously in the new year, which brings peace to our home. Landen is still learning his lessons the hard way, but the back-and-forth, push-and-pull are consistent, and we get a little better every week. We are crammed in this small condo and we hate it, but they have drawn closer to me. Like they see how hard I am working to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation and change things. And maybe they know I need the encouragement.